Hetalia High School Host Club
by Miss flowers in her hair
Summary: After a slight mix up with his uniform, Feli Vargas winds up hanging out with the most popular guys at school! There's just one problem; they think he's a she. Human AU Hetalia charicters in the Ouran high school setting and slightly barrowed plot. Rated T for some kissing later. And Arthurs language.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Mama,

I miss you. I need your advice today mama. I'm starting a new school, and they seem to have shipped me the wrong uniform: a girl's one. But if I don't show up in a uniform they won't let me on campus. Nonno worked so hard to get me in to the academy I don't want to mess it up on my first day! I'm really glad he's gone to work ,and Lovi has gone to his college classes because Nonno would cry and Lovi would yell… Anyway mama, I love you and I wish you were here.

Love always,

Feli

Feliciano held the bright yellow dress out in front of him biting his lip, worry in his amber eyes. If he went to school in his normal street clothes, he was sure they would slam the gates closed in his face and tell him to never come back. And what would that do to his poor Nonno? His youngest grandchild dismissed from yet another school. Feli could see the disappointment on his grandfather's face. Already Feli would have to run away out of sheer disgrace, forced to live on the streets like an urchin. An urchin living in Japan who couldn't even speak Japanese.

Yes, this was the only thing to do.

Feli pulled the dress over his head, keeping his shorts on underneath. They made him feel…more secure. He took the little white stockings and shoes out of the box the dress had come in and put them on. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and faced the mirror.

'Not too bad' he whispered straightening the little string bow tied at his neck. His auburn hair brushed the white collar. According to his brother he looked like a girl already.

Didn't that prove his plan was going to work? He just had to keep a positive attitude. Everything was going to work out.

He took a deep breath and walked out of his room. Sneaking into the hallway, he peeked into the living room. Lovi had definitely gone to class and Nonno had woken him up before he went off to work. The penthouse was empty. Now he just had to make it to school without anyone recognizing him.

The long walk to school consisted of many short sprints behind trash cans and sign posts and quick looks to make sure he didn't know any of Nonno's associates, but everybody looked Japanese and (he felt terrible about this, he really did) they all looked the same.

When he arrived at Ouran, the man at the gate didn't even look him in the face. Feli just handed him the ID card, and he handed it right back without a word. Strange country. Not even a good morning. Not even a hello. Feli swallowed missing his village in Italy where everybody knew his name and asking after him. Home was friendly.

Here, even school was scary, and school was the place you were supposed to feel the safest.

He took his books and his schedule (which stated his name as Vargas Feli (not, thank heaven above, Feliciano) to his room and sat in the back with his head down for the rest of the day. Feli was not what one would call shy, by any means, but his appearance today dialed his tone down ten notches.

As they were dismissed for lunch, a blond haired blue eyed guy with glasses spotted him, grinned and swaggered over to where he was sitting. 'Alfred,' the boy extended his hand, 'Alfred Jones.' He winked and grinned down at Feli. Alfred had an American accent and his voice was kind. Feli smiled and shook his hand. This guy was nice, sort of goofy, but nice. 'My name's Feli.'

'This place can be kinda intimidating huh? Especially if you're new. Trust me I know all about being the new kid, but it's not too bad. The food's awesome and everybody's pretty cool once they warm up to you. Maybe, if you want, I can introduce you around? Why don't you eat with me and my friends at lunch?'

'Yes! Yes please! That would be so nice! Thank you for inviting me!' Feli smiled. Today was finally turning around!

Alfred grinned. 'Cool! And maybe you could come by the host club today after school, that's where everyone hangs out.'

Feli didn't have the faintest idea what a host club was but this boy was the nicest person he'd met all day. He looked like one of those bouncy golden retrievers and Feli just wanted to make him happy, so he said he'd try and stop in and see him.

A smaller blond boy with green eyes and yellow hair (and weird bushy eyebrows.) turned around in his seat and glared at Alfred. Alfred peeled his eyes off of Feliciano to glare right back.

'Are you bothering this young woman, Alfred? Your American "hospitality" isn't always welcome you know.' He turned his attention to Feli, 'I'm sorry about him, miss, he's not what you would call cultured. I assure you all the young men here aren't nearly as rough as he is. I'm Arthur Kirkland, by the way. Did you say your name was Feli?'

Arthur spoke in a clipped British accent but his eyes were softer than his voice was. Feli wasn't sure quite how to take this Arthur. "It's short for Felicia. It's my mother's name. She named me after herself which is nice because she's such a beautiful woman. Maybe I'll take after her.' Oh, gosh. Why was he babbling? This guy didn't need to know his life story; it wasn't even his real life anyway!

'You are already very beautiful, Miss Feli. Would you like to join me for lunch?' Arthur gave him a sweet smile and doe eyes. Maybe he wasn't so bad. Maybe he was nice, too.

'Oh here we go!' Alfred moaned throwing his hands in the air, 'Jeez! can't you back off for like ten minutes!'

Arthur set his jaw and the doe eyes became scary tiger eyes, 'Listen, you idiot. I'm trying to be a gentleman I'm not asking for anything like you, obviously, were. Let her choose who she wants to sit with at lunch herself!'

They both turned to look at him with expectant eyes.

'Um what? I-I don't want to choose just one friend.' He said confused.

'Look what you did, you jerky limey! Now she's all hurt!'

'Me?! You're the one who sauntered over to her like you think you're some kind of sex god, winking at her and pulling some stupid line out of your arse! Who are you supposed to be, James Bond?'

'You're just jealous 'cause you use that line on everybody and you can't use it on her! You're just as bad too! Oh I'm a gentleman blah blah blah! Look at me! I drink tea with my pinky out! That totally doesn't attract women dude.'

Well that escalated quickly.

'Wait wait wait! Please don't argue! Can't we all sit together at lunch? Come on, I'm really hungry! Show me where the lunch room is! What kind of meals do you have? I bet it's yummy! Please, no more fighting.' Feli looked from Alfred to Arthur nervously.

Alfred pouted

'Oh fine.' Arthur grumbled getting up from his desk.

With a flourish he bowed, 'Would you do the honor of accompanying me to lunch?' He said offering Feli his arm, his green eyes looking up at Feli threw his blond lashes.

Feli looked at it. Would a girl take his arm? Is that what he should do? Arthur was doing that sweet doe eyed thing again.

Oh, what the heck.

Feli took his arm and bounced out of his seat grinning, 'Yay! Pasta! Lunch is my favorite subject!'

'Hahahaha! It's mine too!' Alfred bounced to Feli's other side and took his arm. 'The lunch room here is awesome! They have food from everywhere to make everyone feel at home or whatever. It's great! And it's a total load off to just hang out for a while you know?'

Feli smiled. 'Yeah I think I'm feeling more at home already.' And even though these guys seemed to hate each other, they were treating him like a person. Like a friend even. What more could you want on the first day of school than a friend?


	2. Chapter 2

Alfred was right, the lunch room was awesome. Feliciano had never seen so much food.

'Wow…Where do I start?' His eyes were as big as dinner plates. There were stations lined up all along the wall. A table for each country. This was a feast. 'Do I just grab a plate? Do I get seconds?'

Arthur was looking at him with horror in his eyes. Maybe this wasn't the most covert lady like behavior but it just looked so delicious what was he supposed to do, not eat? No way!

Alfred burst in to laughter and slapped him in the back, 'You are a girl after my own heart my friend! let me show you the ropes.'

Alfred led him to the plates and told him to have at it (and no, he couldn't have seconds) before leading him back to a table where Arthur was sitting alone. Hunched over at one end facing away from everyone but, at least he was at the table.

Alfred swept his hands out over the table, 'Everybody, this is Feli. She's new let's try and make her welcome, ok?'

He met about twenty smiling people and sat between Alfred and Arthur the whole period while they bickered. It was funny really. And it seemed they liked each other a lot more then they first let on. Lunch was nice.

The rest of the day went by quickly until his last class. Japanese.

Feli was bilingual. He spoke Italian and English fluently. Nanno lived in America when they were small for his business and he lived there from ages five through nine. When you're that age languages stick in your brain. Now, as a teenager the sticky just didn't have the same hold. He didn't even know how to count or say his colors in Japanese. It was so embarrassing. He heard the other kids snickering with each other about what an idiot he was.

He tried to shake the bad feelings off. He just needed to meet his friends in the host club room. They would help him with his Japanese. They would make him feel better.

Now if he could just_ find_ the host club. His heart constricted in his chest. The lessons before Japanese had gone so well. Now he felt like crying and he was lost looking for music room three. Was it up stairs? Was it in the north wing? He'd found three libraries so far but no music rooms. What if it had all been a big joke and there wasn't a host club. That's just the kind of thing he would fall for. Lovi was so right about him; he was just a stupid little kid.

He turned a corner his head down looking at his feet and- WHAM- strait into somebodies chest and flat on his butt. He watched his books and papers scatter across the hallway

That was all he could take. Feliciano burst into tears.

A shadow loomed over him

'Er-are you ok?'

Feli looked up into ocean blue eyes. 'Huh?'

'I asked,' the boy he ran into had a heavy German accent, gruff and sharp, Feli flinched. 'if you were all right.' He offered Feli his hand.

Feli sniffled, 'I think so.' He took the boys hand and got up off the ground, brushing his skirts off.

'What were you doing walking down the hallway with your head down? Don't you know that is unsafe? I could have really hurt you.' This boy sounded a million years old. He'd never met any high school kid who acted like someone who lived in a retirement home before. He didn't seem angry just-stern.

'I'm sorry,' Feli said looking at his shiny black shoes and rocking back on his heels. 'What's your name?' he asked, looking up into is face again. He was very tall.

'Ludwig.' He bent down and started picking up the loose papers at Feli's feet.

'No no! you don't have to do that!' Feli started to take the pages from Ludwig's hands-

'I do. It's partialy my fault for knocking you over; let me-' Feli's hand brushed Ludwig's fingers and Ludwig froze, dropping what he'd just picked up.

'Oh gosh I'm sorry, I told you, I got it really.' Feli laughed

Ludwig coughed pink in the face all the way up to his ears. It made Feli grin. This guy was kind of a dork. Not scary at all!

'So Ludwig, do you know what a host club is? Someone invited me to it but I can't find the room or anything, in fact I kinda thought they made it up, that's one of the things I was so upset about.'

'The host club?' Ludwig's eyes widened and his mouth dipped down at the corners. 'Who- No they didn't make it up. It's where I'm going right now actually.' He looked down at Feli's shoes, 'I could show you the way. If you want.'

'That would be so nice! Yes please! Thank you!'

'Alright. Would it be alright if I- Do you think maybe I could hold your books and papers for you? Just so they don't end up on the floor again.'

Feli Laughed 'Sure Ludwig that's fine! Um I'm Feli, by the way, in case you're wondering' And he held out a hand.

Ludwig hesitated half a tick and then took it gently in his massive paw. 'It's very nice to meet you, Feli.'

* * *

a/n

Not as long as I would have liked and it took forever but...Ludwig's pretty important and I wanted to get the first time they met to be just right.


	3. Chapter 3

Afternoon light streamed through the floor to ceiling windows gleaming off the white marble tile with just the sound of their footsteps echoing off the high ceiling.

And it was killing Feliciano. He usually didn't do well with silence. No, he never did well with silence. But Ludwig wasn't acting like he wanted to talk at all and Feli wasn't sure how to start a real conversation with him. Maybe he should just jump in there.

'So Ludwig do you like ice cream?' That definitely felt wrong. But it was in times like this that the words just –came out of his mouth.

'What?' Ludwig tilted his head looking at him quizzically

'I mean- I had some gelato today at lunch-the lunchroom here is so good don't you think? But um anyway, it was chocolate and chocolate's my favorite and I was just thinking and since I don't know anything about you I just was wondering what you like to eat. That's kinda silly isn't it? Oh gosh I really need to stop talking.'

Projectile word vomit.

Feli felt himself blushing. Why? Why was he so-

Ludwig smiled down at him, seemingly bemused.

'I prefer vanilla myself. I don't mind you talking. It's calming. Your voice is,' his ears went pink again. 'soothing.'

'Oh.' Soothing. Nice. Feli let himself smile a little. 'It's okay if I ask questions?'

'Yes, as long as it isn't too personal.'

'I'll try my best! Okay, question number one, why did you join the host club Ludwig?'

Ludwig's face went very tight.

'I was forced into the idiotic club by my idiot older brother.'

'You have a brother? I have big brother too. What's his name?'

'Gilbert.'

Uh-oh. One word answers again. He shouldn't have asked about his brother. It might be safe to just stick with the host club.

'So what exactly _is_ a host club? No one will tell me.'

'Prostitution.'

Feli stopped in his tracks 'P-prost-prostitution?'

The door to Feli's right swung open and a tall blond with shoulder length wavy hair burst out of the door. Gracefully he bowed, 'Come in cheri, come in! You are looking for the host club are you not? Well here it is!' The strange boy grabbed his hand and spun him about, seemingly trying to dance with him until Feli was inside what looked like a small parlor.

'I am Frances Bonnefoy, the President of the host club. It is a pleasure to meet someone as lovely as the morning sun light, what is your name mademoiselle?

'My names Feli,' he mumbled taking a step away from Frances and looking at his shoes.

'Not even a giggle,' Feli looked up. That was Alfred's voice! He was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. Near him on a light pink and gold couch Arthur drank his tea next to a slight Japanese boy, studiously, on his laptop.

Alfred winked at him 'You're losing your touch boss.'

Frances ignored him and prattled on 'We were waiting for little Lulu here to start our weekly meeting. You must have stopped him in his tracks to make him so late. Mister serious is never late to anything, are you?'

Ludwig was grinding his teeth and looked ready to strangle Frances but before he could retaliate a loud manic giggle issued from behind the couch. Arthur put his teacup down and rolled his eyes. He turned around on and fwapped something very hard behind the couch.

A head covered in a shock of white hair shot up between Arthur and the Japanese boy, a pair of headphones perched on his head 'What the hell?! Why did you slap me?! Couldn't you have just said, Gilbert it's time for the meeting or hey you or something!?'

This was getting weirder and weirder. Feli took another step backwards.

Arthur folded his arms across his chest. 'You don't respond to Gilbert most of the time and you never respond to hey you. The only way to get your attention is with violence.'

'That's not true you didn't even try and be normal about it you just wapped me in the face you-you English tea jockey!'

'Should I be offended or amused?'

'Darn right you should be offended!' Alfred yelled, stepping in front of Arthurs place on the sofa. 'He told you to let him know when Ludwig was here to start the meeting. It's his own fault for not paying attention.' Apparently Alfred was the only one who could insult Arthur

'Non! Non violence among my hosts! And in front of a guest! For shame! This is unacceptable, Arthur go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!'

Arthur stood up, red-faced with those tiger hooded eyes. 'Go to hell you stupid frog! You just don't want your little friends' feelings to get hurt!'

The Japanese boy had curled up into himself and put his hands over his ears.

Maybe he should get out of here.

Feli took a step back and- there was something behind him. Something falling. an old statue, something Nanno would have loved, smashing to the floor, shattering into a million marble pieces.

Silence fell and all eyes turned to Feliciano and the mess on the floor.

'Well shit kid.' Gilbert said. 'Looks like you owe us a new statue.'

'I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!' Tears burned in his eyes. How was he ever going to fix this? The sculpture itself looked like it belonged in a museum, who knew how much it was worth. 'Please, I'll do anything just don't tell my grandfather. I'll fix it I promises!' He found himself reaching for Ludwig, grabbing for his shirt, his arm, his hand. Something to make him feel a bit more grounded. It must have been because Ludwig seemed so responsible. And kind.

'if I may offer a suggestion.'

Feli turned toward the Japanese boy.

'As the Vice President of the host club it is my duty to handle the club's budget and allowance of each member. That was a very important piece in our collection, given to us by one of the first members of the club. Invaluable, you might say. In order to make up for the price of that statue I would have to ask you to offer your services to the host club until you leave the school. Or we tell your grandfather. The decision is yours of course.'

'Whatever you need me to do, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I'll try my best to do what you ask.'

maybe he was signing his soul away to easily... Maybe he should reconsider.

But he could see the disappointment in Nanno's eyes. Not only did his grandson walk around in women's clothing he was also a clumsy little fool.

'That settles it Miss Feli,' Frances declared 'You're the host club's new maid.'


End file.
